Three's a Crowd
by lahmrh
Summary: When Uhura decides to spice up her and Spock's sex life, she has no idea what it will lead to. S/U, K/S/U, pre-K/S.


Author's Note: Inspired by the Friends episode where Ross has a threesome with his wife and another woman and discovers that his wife is gay.

 **Three's a Crowd**

"Good morning!" Gaila sings as she slides into the seat opposite. She's entirely too cheerful for this time in the morning, and Uhura glares at her as she stifles a yawn and reaches for her cup of coffee.

"Late night?" Gaila asks as she spears a piece of brightly coloured fruit. "Commander Sexy keeping you up?" She waggles her eyebrows expectantly, and Uhura rolls her eyes.

"Nothing like that," she replies. _More's the pity._ "I just didn't sleep well, I guess." She fiddles with her coffee cup for a moment, then glances around, making sure no one's listening. "If I tell you something, do you promise to keep it to yourself?"

"Sure," Gaila replies, her eyes lighting up as she leans in. "What's up?"

Uhura glances around again and sighs. "It's Spock. Our relationship's great, but our sex life is kind of… I don't know. He insists that everything's fine, but it feels like he's calculating equations in his head or something when we do it, like he's not really into it." She wraps her hands around the cup and looks down. "I don't know what to do."

"Maybe you have to spice things up a bit?" Gaila suggests. "Tie him up, or let him tie you up, or use blindfolds, or toys, or chocolate sauce…." A grin spreads across her face as the suggestions get rolling. "Or roleplay! Patient and sexy nurse, that's a good one, or prisoner and prison guard. That one goes well with the tying up idea." She tips her head to once side, considering. " _Or_ you could-"

"Okay, okay," Uhura cuts her off. "I get the picture. I'll think about it."

Gaila nods, curly hair bobbing around her face. "Good," she says. "And just so you know, if you need any more ideas, I've got a million of them."

"I'm sure," Uhura murmurs, smiling in spite of herself. She drains the last of her coffee and stands. "I have to get to the bridge. Catch up with you later?"

Gaila stabs another piece of fruit and nods. "Don't forget what I said!" she calls over her shoulder as Uhura heads for the door.

x x x

Uhura does think about it. A lot. And that afternoon, after her shift finishes, she sits down in her quarters with a PADD and writes down all the ideas she can think of for spicing up their relationship. She very firmly does not enlist Gaila's help, although she does have a quick look through the databases for inspiration.

By the time she has finished, she has a decently long list of suggestions and is beginning to think this might work. The next stage, of course, is to discuss it with Spock.

She sends him a quick message inviting him to dinner in her quarters that evening, and soon receives a reply agreeing and promising to meet her there at 1800.

She goes for a run in the gym, then showers and dresses in her favourite deep blue top and pants before ordering in food for the two of them. She's just setting it out on the table when Spock arrives, exactly on time.

His expression softens when he sees her, and she can't help but smile in response. She reaches out and touches her fingers briefly to his, then, as the door closes, steps forward and brushes their lips together.

"Good evening," she murmurs as she steps back.

"Good evening," Spock replies. "I trust your day was productive?"

She nods, still smiling. "Very much so. And yours?"

"Indeed," he replies. "I have been studying the readings from the atypical red giant we passed two days ago. They are fascinating."

Uhura rolls her eyes fondly. She doesn't share Spock's passion for astrophysics, but she's always liked the way he talks about it. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Shall we eat?" She leads him to the table, and the vegetarian lasagne and wine she has set out.

The meal is conducted in silence, as is the Vulcan custom. At first she found it awkward, but now she's used to it it doesn't bother her at all. There'll be plenty of time for talking later.

When the meal is over, Spock helps her clear away the plates and glasses, and then they sit down together on her bed. "There's something I'd like to talk to you about," she begins, leaning over to pick up her PADD. A few flicks of her fingers brings up the list she made earlier. "I feel like our sex life is a little… flat."

Spock frowns. "You are not satisfied?"

She shakes her head. "It's not that." It is, a little, but she pushes that thought aside. "I just feel like we could benefit from spicing things up a bit." She hands him the PADD. "So I made a list of things we could try, and I thought you could read it and tell me if any of them appeal to you."

He raises an eyebrow, but obediently takes the PADD and begins to read. "What is 'dirty talk'?" he asks after a few seconds.

"Uh, that's-" She didn't really think much about it when she was making her list, but right now she can't help but be hit with a vision of Spock intoning, "Yes, Nyota, I will penetrate you and you will like it," in his usual stoic manner. "You know what, never mind. You can cross that one off the list."

Spock's eyebrow goes up again, but he doesn't question further, just goes back to reading.

"Have a threesome," he reads out suddenly, and she winces. "Am I correct in understanding that a threesome is when two people invite a third to have sex with them?"

"Yeah, that's… it was just a thought." She shakes her head. "I know, it's stupid, but I was writing down anything I could think of, and-"

"Actually," Spock interrupts, "I am not averse to the idea."

She cuts herself off, blinking at him. "Really?"

He nods. "I find it… intriguing."

"Huh," Uhura says, trying to process that revelation. "Well, I guess we could try it." She can't say she's never fantasised about having a threesome, but she didn't expect _Spock_ to be into something like that. _I guess when it comes to what turns people on you really can't assume._

She takes the PADD from him and turns it off before setting it aside. "It's kind of an appealing thought, isn't it," she murmurs, stroking her fingers against his hand with a smile.

That night when they go to bed he thrusts into her with more enthusiasm than she's ever seen in him, and she thinks that, unexpected as it is, this might actually be the solution to their problems.

x x x

She's eating lunch the next day, alone at a small table in the corner, when Spock appears with a tray and sits down opposite. Their fingers brush in a greeting before Spock says bluntly, "I have been contemplating the idea we discussed last night."

"Me too," she admits. She glances around nervously, but the table is sufficiently private for their purposes. "I've been trying to think who we could ask." The only person she knows would say yes is Gaila, and that's a bad idea for all kinds of reasons.

She watches as Spock prods at his salad. "I thought perhaps the captain," he says hesitantly.

"Kirk?" She considers for a moment. "I guess that could work." He's definitely not the kind of guy she'd choose for a long term relationship, but as a one-time sex partner? She has to admit, she's curious. She tries not to listen to rumours, but his reputation back at the academy was near-legendary. Even Gaila seemed impressed, and she would know.

Spock nods once, acknowledging her words. "We are scheduled to play chess this evening. I shall bring up the subject then, if you are amenable?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess." She takes a bite of her sandwich, trying to adjust to the fact that her idle suggestion has suddenly gotten a lot closer to becoming reality.

x x x

Spock stops by late that night, just as she's preparing for bed. "I discussed the situation with the captain," he tells her. "He is willing to assist us."

Assist them. She supposes that's one way of putting it. "Did he say anything else?"

"He mentioned that Thursday night would be especially good for him, as he has a day off on Friday. He also suggested that we meet in his quarters, as they are the largest."

"Thursday," she repeats. "Wow. You've got it all planned out."

Spock frowns. "Have I erred in some way?"

She shakes her head. "No, it's fine. It's just… this is really happening." She catches herself fiddling with her clothing and pulls her hands away firmly.

He steps forward and catches one of her hands, holding it in his. "Are you having second thoughts?" he asks quietly. "There is still time to cancel."

The feeling of his fingers against her is warming, and she smiles. "Definitely not," she says firmly. "You?"

He shakes his head. "No." He runs a thumb over the back of her hand before dropping it and stepping away.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" she asks, her skin still tingling from the caress, but he shakes his head again.

"Perhaps another time," he says. "I find myself in need of meditation."

She nods, disappointed but understanding. "Okay. See you in the morning."

He leaves, and she continues preparing for bed, feeling a little like she's caught in a dream. She's going to have a threesome with James Kirk. This is really happening.

She can only hope it doesn't turn out to be a huge mistake.

x x x

The first thing Kirk says when they arrive on Thursday night is, "So, does this mean I can call you Nyota?"

Uhura rolls her eyes good naturedly, smiling in spite of herself. "Don't push your luck, Kirk."

Kirk just grins, then raises his voice and orders, "Computer, lock door." He rubs his hands together and looks from Spock to Uhura and back. "So, do either of you want a drink or something?"

"I'm fine," Uhura replies at the same time as Spock says, "I would prefer to proceed to the bedroom."

Kirk blinks. "Okay, sure." He nods and adds, "Follow me."

He leads them into the bedroom area, and Uhura looks around as they enter. It's neater than she would have expected, and she wonders if he cleared it up especially for this. She notices a few personal effects scattered around – a PADD, a couple of books, and a carved wooden sculpture she remembers him being given as a gift on one of their landing parties. But she's brought out of her study of Kirk's bedroom when her eyes land on the main attraction. The bed.

It's larger than standard, but she isn't sure it'll be big enough for three people. She supposes they'll find out.

Beside her, Kirk hums to himself. "Let's make this a little more romantic," he says. "Computer, lights to twenty percent."

He crosses to the nightstand as the lights dim obediently, and a second later a soft yellow glow appears, coming from what looks like several electric candles.

"I thought about real ones," he says with a shrug, "but I figured they'd be a fire risk." He waggles his eyebrows with a grin. "Flailing limbs and such."

Without waiting for a response, he pulls off his shirt and tosses it aside. Spock stares for a moment before following suit, and Uhura kicks off her shoes and does the same. It isn't long before they're all naked, and she has to fight the urge to cover herself as Kirk looks her up and down. He gives her a grin and a wink before doing the same to Spock.

For his part, Kirk doesn't seem to be at all self-conscious. Not that he really has to be. He's not totally her type, but she has to admit he's good looking. Well endowed, too, as she finds when she sneaks a peek downwards.

"Well," Kirk says, hands on hips as if to give the best view of his body. "How about we get started?"

He holds out a hand to both of them, and leads them to the bed.

x x x

It isn't like how she imagined. Kirk is an excellent lover, but the whole experience is a little awkward. At least once she has to bite her lip to keep from giggling.

Spock, on the other hand, doesn't seem to find it awkward at all. She watches the way his eyes darken as Kirk presses into him, the way he tangles their fingers together, the way he buries his face in Kirk's shoulder as he comes untouched.

It's a side of him she's never seen before, and when he presses into her afterwards she finds herself searching his eyes, looking for that same passion.

She doesn't find it.

x x x

The next morning, she's eating breakfast alone when Gaila slides in opposite with a chirpy, "Good morning!" Her tray is filled with some kind of weird blue mush, and Uhura tries not to wrinkle her nose at it.

"Good morning," she replies, trying to keep her thoughts from returning to the events of the night before, the look in Spock's eyes. She stirs her porridge slowly before blurting out, "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Gaila nods. "Sure, what is it?"

Uhura glances round quickly before leaning in. "You know how you said that Spock and I should spice things up?"

Gaila nods again, smiling. "You mean you took my advice? Good for you! What did you do? Was it the roleplay? Sexy nurse or cops and robbers?"

Uhura raises her hand to stop the flow of questions. "No roleplay. I… we… kind of had a threesome. Last night."

Gaila's eyes go wide and she claps her hands over her mouth. "Oh!" she squeals. "Oh, I want to hug you! Your first threesome!" She leans in. "Girl, guy, or other?"

"Guy," Uhura replies, and Gaila squeals again.

"Oh, that's so great! How was it? Tell me _everything_."

"Well, that's just it," Uhura says, glancing down. "It was… weird. I mean, it was good. Fun, and I did enjoy it… mostly, but it wasn't how I pictured it at all." She sighs. "I thought it would put a spark in mine and Spock's relationship, but he seemed way more into the parts with K- the other guy."

Gaila frowns. "Huh," she says. "Maybe he's gay."

"Spock's not gay," Uhura replies immediately. "He's just…" She trails off as everything slides suddenly into place. "Oh. Oh my God, you're right."

She pushes her bowl of porridge away and lays her head on her arms. "Shit," she mumbles, before repeating it in several other languages. "How did I not see this before?"

"If it helps, I'm available for rebound sex," Gaila tells her, and Uhura raises her head enough to glare at her before putting it back down.

x x x

Fortunately she's working in the language labs for the day, so she has some time to think before being confronted with Spock. By the time her shift ends, the shock has worn off, and she's ready to have the mature, adult conversation she knows is coming.

Spock is playing his ka'athyra when she stops by, though it's more a random plucking of strings than anything recognisable as a tune. He sets it aside as she enters, and for a moment they just stare at each other, an awkwardness between them that hasn't been there since the early days of their relationship.

"I think we need to talk," she says finally, breaking the silence.

"Yes," Spock agrees.

They speak together. "Nyota-" "About last night-"

She gives a nervous laugh and shrugs, gesturing at him. "You go first."

He nods once, clasping his hands behind his back. "I believe… that is, I have come to the conclusion that…" He trails off and swallows before continuing quietly, "I am homosexual."

It isn't anything she wasn't expecting, but it still feels strange to hear it stated out loud. "You didn't know?" It's a silly question, she knows, but she has to ask. Has to know their whole relationship wasn't based on a lie.

He shakes his head slowly. "In retrospect, I should perhaps have considered why the idea of inviting the captain into our sexual relations held such appeal to me, but I was not aware of the true nature of my feelings until last night." He swallows again and adds, "It was never my intention to hurt you, Nyota."

"I know," she says, because Spock can be thoughtless and oblivious to people's feelings (including, apparently, his own), but he's never been cruel. "It's not your fault."

His gaze meets hers, and there's a hint of vulnerability there as he asks, "I hope this revelation will not affect our friendship?"

"Oh, Spock," she says, feeling a sudden wave of affection for him. "Of _course_ we'll still be friends." She steps forwards and wraps her arms around him, and he returns the hug hesitantly. It's different, holding him like this now that there's no possibility of anything more, but it's just as comforting. From the way his arms tighten around her, she thinks he feels the same.

"For the record," she murmurs into his shoulder, "you can do better than Kirk."

"Nyota," he chides, in that tone that means he's amused but trying not to show it, and she knows they're going to be just fine.


End file.
